 
Denis Leary's "Merry F#%$in' Christmas"
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Featuring William Shatner
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Kids unwrap their Christmas gifts
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Children unhappy with their Christmas gifts...
Girl: Tube socks?!
Boy: These presents suck.
William Shatner: What's going on here?
Girl: I hate Christmas.
Shatner: You don't like your presents?
Boy: Santa Claus is a douche bag.
Shatner: Alright, alright, alright, alright. Sit down. Sit down. I'm going to talk to you about the true meaning of Christmas.
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Shatner: These are letters addressed to Santa, from poor kids.
Girl: Then why do you have them?
Shatner: Shut up.
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Shatner: "Dear Santa, my village was bombed and we live in a refugee camp. The only thing I want for Christmas is an end to all suffering, and for everyone in the world to stop fighting and get along. Fatima Hishmi."
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Shatner: What a wuss! Ha ha ha!
Boy: Read another one.
Shatner: Alright.
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Shatner: "Dear Santa, my dad lost his job and our entire family lives in an abandoned Mazda Navajo. We all have TB. We have to wear clothing we've stolen from other homeless people. We all share our blanket between us, and keep warm by rubbing the rats against our skin."
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"At least they have pets! Ha ha ha!"
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Shatner: So, at least they have pets! Ha ha ha ha! What losers! Ha ha ha ha!
Girl: So how do we get good stuff?
Shatner: Ah, you've got to think big. Never give the fat man any room to think. Demand cash.
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"You've got to think big"
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Shatner: Give him 14 year-old Scotch and a few Cuban cigars. You got that? Believe me, I know the man. Santa comes down the fireplace, he sees Cuban cigars, he sees 14 year-old Scotch, he's going to love you. He's going to love you. He's going to give you anything you want.
Boy: Thank you, William Shatner!
Girl: Yeah!
Shatner: Perfect.
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Hugs
Click to see the F#%$in' video of WILLIAM SHATNER
Running time: 2 minutes and 41 seconds
(SAVE then Open with your WMV player)
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