Danza: By the way, congratulations on your second Emmy in a row.
Shatner: I know.
Danza: How about that?
Shatner: That's pretty good.
Danza: That's pretty good. Do you have any preparations, before the show?
Shatner: No. I have no preparations.
Danza: You...you...but you've got to go to Hair and Makeup.
Shatner: No, I don't.
Danza: Yes, you do.
Shatner: Okay.
( Danza flips open a TOS-style communicator )
Danza: "Scotty, beam him up to Hair and Makeup."
Shatner: I don't want to do that. It hurts, every time it happens. Ow!
Danza has a TOS communicator
Shatner beams away: "Ow!"
Danza: I'm Tony Danza, and I'm live from New York City. "Beam me up, Scotty."
Tony Danza beams up
( Cheers and applause )
Danza: Okay. We're back. We're back. And Star Trek's Captain James T. Kirk, my first guest, became an international icon -- and got to make out with green space chics. Now, he's a two-time Emmy winner for his work on the hit ABC show "Boston Legal."
Judge Cooper: Trial date is set for December the 2nd. We will conference a week from today.
Crane: Denny Crane. Who the hell called, and why?
Danza: (laughs) I'll bet you his name, his character's name, is Denny Crane. Set your phasers on fun. Here's William Shatner.
( Loud cheers and applause )
Danza: Hey!
Shatner: Thank you.
Danza: Hey, hey.
Shatner: Oh, I'm here.
Danza: Oh, yeah. I told you! That's right.
Shatner: What a...
Danza: Get on board!
Shatner: What a cheap, shoddy chair.
A somewhat familiar Captain's chair
Shatner is back in The Chair!
Danza: What do you mean?!
Shatner: I never saw...
Danza: What do you mean?
Shatner: Lousy.
Danza: This is special!
Shatner: Oh, look, yours spins.
Danza: Yours does too, and it tilts.
Shatner: Mine... tilts?
Danza: Yeah, be careful. Don't go too far.
Shatner: Yeah, right. Tilt too far and your head becomes a bowling ball.
Danza: By the way, you know why we did this?
Shatner: No, why did you this?
Danza: Well, because of "Star Trek"...
Shatner: Be careful of the button!
Danza: Oh, sorry.
Shatner: You never know what that button will press.
Danza: Hit the wrong phaser.
( Shatner pulls off a button from his chair )
A button pops off of Shatner's chair
Danza: Uh-oh. Well, I didn't say...
( Laughter and applause )
Danza: Well, I didn't say they were well made.
Shatner: No, that's true. But, it serves a purpose, right?
Danza: Yes.
Shatner: You can just eject...
( Danza bangs his knee on the angular chair )
Danza: Ow!
Shatner: That's what I mean. "Bad boy!"
Danza: So, hey, listen, "Boston Legal" is a great show.
Shatner: Is it?
Danza: You're so terrific on it. And second Emmy in a row.
( Applause )
Danza: Wow.
Shatner: Wow. How did I do that? I don't know how I did that. A lot of good people out there.
Danza: Yeah. You like working on the show, and you like working with David Kelly?
Shatner: David Kelly is a genius.
Danza: Yeah. He's a writer and the producer of the show, ladies and gentlemen.
Shatner: He's the guy that, for... decades, I guess, now, has been so successful in television. And, it's really amazing to be connected with such great talents, that are part of this show, part of "Boston Legal," on ABC, Tuesday nights at ten o'clock.
Danza: Right, yes. James Spader, one of my favorites.
Shatner: James Spader, I have to cuddle him all the time, poor little guy.
Danza: He won the Emmy...
Shatner: He's so scared.
Danza: He won the Emmy as well, right?
Shatner: Yeah, he won the Emmy, but I helped him a great deal.
Danza: Yes, of course. Yeah. Now, um, speaking of the show, is it true, there's a rumor that Leonard Nimoy is going to do a character, or be on the show, or...?
Shatner: Lennie is my dear friend.
Danza: Of course. Spock.
Shatner: And... Spock.
Danza does the Vulcan greeting
Danza: I can do that with my hand. Here it is.
( two of Tony's fingers are bandaged )
Danza: This, long story.
Shatner: It is. Really?
Danza: Yeah.
Shatner: How long is your show?
Danza: We'd rather hear about you.
Shatner: I walk around like that, too. And, uh, and so... and so I wanted him to be on, because he's a wonderful actor.
Danza: Sure.
Shatner: So, I...We talked on "Boston Legal" about getting Leonard there, and just the other day, Leonard said, "You know, I've retired, I've put it all behind me" -- because they offered him a part -- so, Leonard's not going to do it.
Danza: Oh, he's not?
Shatner: No.
Audience: Aww!
Shatner: That's the way I felt about it. I was so disappointed.
Danza: Yeah. There's another one of those guys who said "I'm done," and really sticks to it.
Shatner: Who?
Danza: Leonard, I mean...
Shatner: Yeah. Who's another guy?
Danza: Carson.
Shatner: Well, that's true. Yes. Why did Carson go off the air? Why did he leave?
Danza: He was tired of doing it, I guess. Well, why did Leonard Nimoy?
Shatner: Well, because Leonard wanted to go on to photographs, and other things.
Danza: Right.
Shatner: And, acting, you know, it requires a discipline. It requires memorization, and you've got to spend your time acting, as against travelling in Italy.
Danza: There's a lot of work, yeah. There's a lot of work. Hey, by the way, you know we had Naveen Andrews here, from "Lost."
Shatner: Yes.
Danza: And, uh, you know he lost to you in the Emmys.
Shatner: He's a wonderful actor.
Danza: We've got a little clip. Wait til you see this.
Shatner: He should've won the Emmy.
Danza: Well, watch...That's what he said, too. It's funny.
Danza talks to Naveen Andrews
Naveen Andrews of "Lost"
Danza: You were nominated, as well, and I think you lost to, uh...
Naveen Andrews:: William Shatner.
Danza: William Shatner, yes.
Andrews:: I lost to William Shatner. But, who can forget his rendition of "Rocket Man."
Danza: Yes, that's what immediately come to mind.
Andrews: From 1978, I believe.
( Clapping )
Danza: Did you...
Shatner: What...How...
Danza: "Rocket Man." Did you do a rendition of "Rocket Man."
Shatner: Yeah, I did. It was a well-received version of "Rocket Man"; it was lauded; it was written up in papers, and people talked about it for years. Why is a man with a beard talking about me like that?
( Laughter )
Danza: No, no, the rest of the interview -- the rest of the whole interview -- he was very, uh, you know...
Shatner: But, you only played the part where he wasn't.
Danza: Well, I had to take a shot...I'm just trying to rile you up.
Shatner: I'm riled. I'm riled!
( Laughter )
Shatner: No wonder he lost to me, in an Emmy.
Danza: (laughs)
Shatner: He's a wonderful actor.
Danza: Terrific, yeah. Listen, you...
Shatner: Unlucky, though.
Danza: Unlucky. Unlucky in Emmys. Um, the delivery...the famous...
Shatner: The delivery.
Danza: The pauses.
Shatner: The...the DHL.
Danza: Yeah, the delivery that you...the way...your speech pattern. It's famous, people do it all the time.
Shatner: I notice you've...been doing it.
Danza: I've been trying...to do it. But, I...
Shatner: I don't understand that. I don't recognize that.
Danza: Where did it come from? Was it somebody made that, made a caricature? Somebody impersonating you do it and it started that? You're known for that.
Kirk-speak: "What...those...things?"
Shatner: Well, I don't understand what that is. I don't understand what that -- what is...that...mean? What...those...things?
Danza: (laughs)
Shatner: Originally, it was because I couldn't remember the words.
Danza: Oooohhhhh, now we know! Now we know.
( Laughter and applause )
Danza: You know, last time you were here, we played a game, "I Know Shatner," right? And I beat you at your own game.
Shatner: I know. Everybody knows me better than I know myself. It's very distressing.
Danza: Now, wait a minute, we have another clip, because something happened...something happened that we have to show you. Go ahead.
Should be "Hemorrhoids"
Danza: So there, that's the end, and if you notice, I think you spelled "hemorrhoid" wrong. That's...
Shatner: If you don't...if you don't have them, you don't need to spell them.
( Applause )
Danza: Yeah, sure, sure. I don't know what... (laughs)
Shatner: (laughs)
Danza: Do you know, we have another idea, on this show.
Shatner: Oh, dear.
Danza: Yes, we do.
Shatner: Ohh, I'm dreading...
Danza: No, no, no, we just want to...um...more...
Shatner: There's a weird angle, Tony.
Danza: With the amazing...William Shatner.
Shatner: Tony, you don't seem to understand, there's a thing creeping up on us.
Danza: Oh, that thing, yeah, that's a crane, there. We have a -- Denny Crane, get it? No, no, I'm kidding. But, after this... after this, when we come back, something I've always wanted to do, and since it's November -- well, come back, you'll see what I'm talking about.
Danza: We're back, with the one and only William Shatner. And, um, you know, this is...when I see you, all I think of -- I know this show you're on now is huge, and you've gotten a lot of acclaim for it. But, "Star Trek"..."Star Trek," I mean, right now, is one of the...
( Applause )
Danza: Right now, there is not one movie or TV show -- not even any of those ones that they copied, "Star Trek" -- none of those shows are on anymore. Why? Why is it? I want to know.
Shatner: Because they weren't good enough.
Danza: Yeah, no, those...I'm saying but why isn't "Star Trek" on?
Shatner: Oh, why isn't "Star Trek" on? Well...
The cast of "Star Trek"
Danza: And what's going to happen with "Star Trek"? No more? Is the franch...
Shatner: I'm writing a couple of books -- I've written several books.
Danza: I know that.
Shatner: I'm writing a couple of books on the adolescent Captain Kirk-Spock thing as...
Danza: So, prequel.
Shatner: A prequel, as an idea for, uh, CBS -- whatever station is going to...Paramount -- to use as the next series of "Star Trek."
Danza: Right. It just seems...I remember, I was in college when it was on, and we used to have parties around the show. I mean, we really loved the show. It was short-lived though, the first time, am I right?
Shatner: Three years.
Danza: Three years. And then, of course, it came back and went on...
Shatner: Movies.
Danza: Turned into movies, and all that. You know, who would play young Kirk?
Shatner: I thought, "If I got some Botox..."
( Laughter )
Shatner on BOTOX
Danza: Well...I...you know.
( Applause )
Danza: Let me tell you, it's going to be hard for anybody to follow you up. Yeah, it'd be hard. Speaking of "Star Trek," you know, I was a big "Star Trek" fan, and it's November, you know, and [I] want to do something...
Shatner: Sweeps. Does everyone know what "the sweeps" is?
Danza: Sweeps. Oh yes, the audience is very, very...they know what's going on.
Shatner: Not this audience.
( Chuckles )
Danza: But, we wanted...I always wanted to be on the bridge of the "Enterprise."
Shatner: Oh, please.
Danza: No, I did. I always to do this. Under battle -- in a battle, you know, with Klingons, or photon torpedoes.
Shatner: Really?
Danza: So, we wrote a little script, so I could get to act. We have the chairs. I could get...I could get to act...I'll be like, you know, one of your guys. Lieutenant Danza, let's say.
Shatner: Okay.
Danza: Alright? Oh, hey, look, I even did this...
( Removes shirt to reveal Trek jersey. Audience cheers )
Danza: Yeah. Yeah!
Shatner: I... I find this disgusting.
( Laughter )
Danza: Why? Why? I wore the shirt, we got these chairs. Let's do it. Come on. What do you say? Alright. Here we go.
Shatner: Alright, let's go. Okay.
Danza: So, let's have...I think there's...
( Playing a starship commander... )
Shatner: Check the position. There's the screen, right?
Danza: Yes.
Shatner: That's the screen up there?
Danza: Yeah. Here we go.
Shatner: I hear the familiar sounds of the beeps.
Danza: Captain.
Shatner: Yes?
Danza: Captain, my sensors are picking up a strange object, twelve parsecs away.
Shatner: Oh, my god, it must feel wonderful.
( Laughter )
Danza: Work with me!
Shatner: Okay. Put it on-screen.
Danza: Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Shatner: Is it on-screen?
Danza: It's not responding to my...
Shatner: I can't see anymore. Where are my glasses?
Danza: It's not responding to my hails, Captain.
Shatner: Your hail?
Danza: Shall I raise the shields?
Shatner: No, don't do that. That's the wrong thing to do.
Danza: Why?
Shatner: Because...
( The sound of enemy warship weapons fire )
Kirk and crew under attack!
Danza: Oh, Captain!
Shatner: Raise the shields!
Danza: All hands, red alert, red alert. The shields are not responding, Captain. Captain!
( A "red shirt" crewman dashes onto the set )
Shatner: Who's that?!
Danza: That's...some guy. Don't worry about it!
Shatner: He's wearing a red shirt. That means he's dead. (laughs)
That poor red shirt!
( Clapping )
Danza: Captain. Captain.
Shatner: Yeah?
Danza: I don't think she can take anymore, Captain.
Shatner: No, it can't take anymore -- the ship is old...
Danza: I'm giving it all she's got.
Shatner: And so am I!
Danza: We're going...
( Cheers and clapping )
Shatner: What? What?
Danza: I don't know.
( Applause )
Another great show with William Shatner
To Shatner we salute... "Denny Crane!"
Danza: Hey, "Boston Legal" airs Tuesday nights on ABC. Bill, thank you, so much. Bless you. I'm really psyched!
