Jimmy Kimmel @ Grand Slam XIV Broadcast: March 22, 2006

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Talk show host Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel: Today is a big day. Today is William Shatner's 75th birthday. That's right. Seventy-five years old. He looks great, he's still great. He's still winning Emmys, on "Boston Legal." To celebrate the birth of America's favorite captain, about three weeks ago I went to a Star Trek convention, and here it is. Take a look... G4 TV: "Tune in and prosper" Grace Lee Whitney (Rand) Jimmy talks to Lisa Catelani Kimmel: What is you favorite show? Lisa: Star Trek. Kimmel: Which one? Lisa: Um, the original. Kimmel: The original. Lisa: My favorite character is actually Doctor McCoy. He's really nice. Kimmel: Oh, really? "Bones." They called him Bones. Lisa: Yes. I did get to meet the man, in San Francisco. He's a very... Kimmel: Oh, you did? And what was the conversation like, do you remember? Lisa: I gave him a rose, and he kissed my hand. So, I thought that was really sweet. Kimmel: Oh, absolutely. Did you get a photograph of yourself with him? Lisa: Unfortunately, no. Kimmel: And how are we to believe that this happened? Lisa (holds up her hand): "X" marks the spot! Kimmel: Mmm-hmm. [Spots her "X"] Oh! "I gave him [De Kelley] a rose" Lisa shows her sweet X-spot At a collectibles kiosk Jimmy sees a Sulu doll Kimmel: You've got the Star Trek collectible dolls here. Now, this is Sulu, has the action figure changed since he [George Takei] came out of the closet? Vendor: No. Kimmel: It has not? Vendor: It has not changed a bit, and probably won't. Kimmel: Interesting. And it probably won't? Vendor: No. Kimmel: But, it might? Sulu doll beams out "Village People" doll beams in Celeste Yarnall as Yeoman Landon Kimmel vexes Yarnall Kimmel: Now, you played one of the many, lovely, Captain Kirk kind-of girlfriends, right? In real life, which of the Star Trek actors did your find most attractive? Celeste Yarnall: Well, I actually dated Bill [Shatner]. Kimmel: You dated Bill? Is he as wonderful a lover as I imagine he is? Yarnall: [Giggle] Kimmel: Be honest. Yarnall: I won't answer that question! But, he's a wonderful man. Kimmel: And lover? Yarnall (laughing): He [Kimmel] is going to get me yet! He [Shatner] is a very loving man. Kimmel: He's very loving. Yarnall: He's a loving man. Kimmel: But, not a great lover? Yarnall: [Smiles] Kimmel: Wow, we really learned about... Yarnall: I take the Fifth! Kimmel: ...about Captain Kirk! Jimmy talks to Daryl Frazetti Kimmel: Daryl, you are a professor of Star Trek? Daryl: Yes. Kimmel: And yet you're no bigger than my son! Daryl: That's right. Kimmel: What will you teach in this class? Daryl: In this class, what we're doing is using it to illustrate what they did with the show. The basic philosophy of the show is, basically, teaching tolerance; and, you take something, you put it in a fictitious setting -- I think it takes away some of the biases, some of the preconceptions, that people come into a class... Kimmel: I think you're kidding yourself -- but you're adorable, I'll tell you that. A sci-fi painting Kimmel: Where is this one hanging in your home? Art fan: Um, right now, it's hanging someplace where my wife can't be reminded... Kimmel: Now, she doesn't like it -- she considers this [as] crap? Art fan: Well, she's just not into sci-fi. Kimmel: Oh, she's not. Art fan: No. Kimmel: Well, what does she like? Art fan: Uh, you know, she's into, you know, tea parties, and things like that. Kimmel: Tea parties!? Really? Who'd you marry, a six year-old? A Klingon encounter Kimmel: Good to take a break for a minute, you know? Klingon Trekkie: Yes, it is. Kimmel: It gets pretty crazy. You are a Klingon? Klingon Trekkie: Yes. Kimmel: Do you speak any Klingon? Klingon Trekkie: [Speaks in a non-English language] Kimmel: [Nods] Klingon Trekkie: I've also got arthritis in both my knees. Kimmel: What? Klingon Trekkie: Arthritis, in both my knees. Kimmel: Oh, I thought your were speaking Klingon again. Klingon Trekkie: No. Kimmel: Well, good luck you. I just want to say, "A'rthritis in b'oth my k'nees." Klingon Trekkie: Okay. Kimmel: In Klingon that means, "My knees hurt." Klingon Trekkie: Yes. Fans gather for a trivia contest Jimmy blends in Adam Malin: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the Grand Slam trivia competition. Who considers themselves an expert in Star Trek and science fiction? Kimmel: [Raises hand] Malin: Okay, I got a guy, right there. Come on up. Alright. Jimmy volunteers as an expert Jimmy confers with panelists Malin: Let's go. Here we go with our first question. Yes, sir. Sci-fi fan: Who was the first Star Trek actor to be a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel show? Kimmel (conferring with panelists): She was married to a congressman. There was a big sex scandal. Panelist Trekkie: Jeri Ryan. Kimmel: Jeri Ryan, yeah. It was Jeri Ryan, yeah. Malin: Who do you think it was? Kimmel (takes microphone): It was Jeri Ryan. Sci-fi fan: Very good. Kimmel: That's one! Malin: You got it right. That's a point. Let's give him a hand! Very good. [Applause] Lisa in attendance Sci-fi fan lobs a trivia question Malin: Let's get another question. Uh... Kimmel: By the way, can I say something? I just want to say how great it is to be at the Apollo Theater. Whassup, everybody! Malin: Okay, we're going to go to the other side of the stage now. Yes, fan. Sci-fi fan: What was the name of Peter Ustinov's character in "Logan's Run"? Kimmel: Can I say something? This is outrageous. And can we please have her removed from the convention center, from the area? This... You're making a mockery of this contest, and it's not fair to anyone, especially Lisa and her glasses. "You're making a mockery of this contest" Sci-fi fan: Which two "Babylon 5" costars also costarred in the 1982 classic "Tron"? Kimmel: Can I just say something? We think it's a stupid question. [Laughter] Kimmel: I also, again, just want to say how great it is to be here at the Apollo. "Slide over one. Do you mind?" Jimmy joins Rex and Elaine Evans Kimmel: I've never been so... Slide over one. Do you mind? One of you, slide over. [Kimmel sits between Rex and Elaine] Kimmel: Ugh. Who knows all that stuff? Did you guys know the answers? They were too hard. Elaine: They were very hard. Kimmel: Ridiculous. Elaine: I thought they were really ridiculous. Kimmel: I was having a really good time. I mean, you guys have made me feel better, but this trivia thing has left a... the taste of acid in my mouth. Elaine: A sour taste. Kimmel: I've never been so angry and disgusted; and really just hurt, I think, is the thing. I feel like I've been rejected by the Star Trek community. "I feel like I've been rejected..." "...by the Star Trek community" Kimmel: Oh, well, they're bringing somebody out on stage. So, I think this is a great time to say, "Live long and prosper"... [Kimmel does the Vulcan salute] Elaine: Live long and prosper. Kimmel: And "Beam us up" Elaine: Beam us up, Scotty. Kimmel: Beam us the hell out of here, Scotty! "Live long and prosper" Jimmy beams out Click to see this JIMMY KIMMEL video Run time: 5 minutes and 33 seconds (240x180) (SAVE then Open with your WMV player)