Star: In the new movie, "The Lion in Winter," Patrick Stewart stars as King Henry II, who must choose which of his three sons will be the successor to the throne. And it doesn't look like he's going to get much help from the Queen. Take a look...
Queen Eleanor: "Do you ever wonder if I slept with your father?"
King Henry: "My father?"
Eleanor: "It's a lie, but there are rumors. Don't you ever wonder?"
Henry: "Is it rich, despising me? Is it rewarding?"
Eleanor: "No."
Henry: "Then stop!"
Eleanor: "How? It's what I live for!"
Henry: "Then I'll show you; by Christ, I will. I'll do it!"
(Audience applause.)
Star: They need some wood on the fire! Please welcome Patrick Stewart.
(Applause. Cheek-kissing along the line of hostesses...)
Patrick: Hi, Elisabeth.
Elisabeth: Good to see you, Mr. Stewart.
Patrick: Good to see you, too. Barbara, how are you?
Barbara: Nice to see you.
Joy: The best-looking man in show business!
Patrick: Joy, thank you. Hello, Star.
Star: Hello, dear.
Patrick: Hello, Meredith.
Meredith: Hi, nice to see you.
Patrick: Good to see you, too. Now, there's a recipe for a happy marriage, right there; the one that you saw.
Star: Threatening each other! Let me get to the wax museum. I hear there is a Patrick Stewart in the wax museum.
Joy: We saw it.
Patrick: The back of my head was in the back of your shot all the time they were talking about you.
Barbara: Why couldn't we be together? You and me in the wax museum!
Patrick: Let's make an appeal to them. They could hook us up.
Star: Only Barbara would try to make out with the other wax statue.
Patrick: There's a movie in that, isn't there?
Meredith: Oh, absolutely.
Star: Now, you've performed works of Shakespeare, dozens of times; you've been nominated for Emmys, and Golden Globes, up the wazoo -- but, I understand that you're most proud of this phenomenal piece of work right here. Check it out...
Patrick Stewart as "Sesame Street" Hamlet: A "B," or not a "B." This letter doth have a stiff, straight back. And the word "back" begineth with "B."
Star: That seems like so much fun!
Patrick: Yeah. Well...
Star: "Sesame Street."
Patrick: My, uh, my children grew up with "Sesame Street." I adored it. Uh, I didn't see it until I came to the States, in the early sixties. And, to be asked on that show was just about the high point of my career. That, and, I think, doing a voice on "The Simpsons."
Joy: You're the one who does all the voice-overs; I knew I read that!
Patrick: That... Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
Joy: Do you like to do that? It's like phone sex, isn't it? It's great. I mean, you don't have to...
(Laughter)
Joy: But, it is. It's got to be.
Patrick: No, I don't do phone sex, 'cause that's not great. But, um, I prefer the real... Um, but, it was fun watching Antonio doing his voice-over, because that's what it's like when you're doing animated movies. It gives you a chance to overact in a way you never would in front of... You have to -- everybody gets so physical, when they're doing a voice, because there has to be so much focus into just what's coming out of your mouth.
Barbara: The amazing thing about you, because you're a true actor, is that you are so versatile. So, I want to talk about "Lion in Winter," because this was an Academy Award winning movie, with Katharine Hepburn and Peter O'Toole. That was Glenn Close playing opposite you.
Patrick: Yes, it was.
Barbara: I watched it, and I've seen the original, and it is -- I tell you (the audience) to go to see it. You are terrific. She (Glenn) is too.
Patrick: Thank you, Barbara.
Barbara: But, weren't you scared? Peter O'Toole and Katharine Hepburn; Academy Award; and, now, you're saying, "We're going to do it"?
Katharine Hepburn and Peter O'Toole
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Patrick: Yeah. Well, uh, why did we do it? It's not a remake. Um, this summer, in London, there are going to be three productions of Hamlet; nobody is saying, "Why are you remaking Hamlet?"
Multiple hostesses: Yeah.
Patrick: They're doing it because it's a great play. "The Lion in Winter" is one of the greatest screenplays ever written.
Barbara: Absolutely. Suspenseful; action; it's got it all.
Patrick: Brilliant, witty, provocative, line by line. And, it requires to be revisited, not remade.
Barbara: Yes.
Patrick: And, I hope in ten years, fifteen years' time, someone else will make it again...
Star: Will do it, yeah.
Patrick: ... because it's so good. When something is mediocre, usually there's only one way of doing it; if it's outstanding, there are a multitude of different ways, and this is an outstanding screenplay.
Meredith: You...
Elisabeth: You've actually been asked... Oh, I'm sorry, Meredith.
Meredith: Go ahead.
Elisabeth: You've been asked to perform this role in London.
Patrick: It's been talked about.
Elisabeth: Are you... Is that going to happen?
Patrick: On the stage, yes. But, you know what, James Goldman wrote the stageplay, originally, adapted it for his own screenplay -- but, I think the screenplay is better than his original stageplay.
Meredith: You've done a lot of Shakespeare -- as we witnessed on "Sesame Street," actually; a little of your Shakespearean English -- but, you also had to learn all this "Star Trek" language when you played Captain Picard.
Patrick: Yeah, it's the hardest thing.
Meredith: Which one's harder?
Patrick: Oh, the "Star Trek."
Meredith: Is it? The lingo on "Star Trek"?
Patrick: Oh, yes.
Joy: Not Shakespeare?
Patrick: Well, it's... I always found Shakespeare really easy to learn. When I was a child, I could recite sonnets. I know -- I was, I was... I was going to say "promiscuous." That's not the word I'm looking for, is it!? What is it?
Joy: Proficient?
Patrick: No, no, no. What is it when you're a child...
Bill Geddie: "Precocious."
Hostesses, in chorus: Precocious.
Patrick: Precocious! Thank you. That's why you have a producer in this show, to give you words like that.
Barbara: You do the sonnets?
Patrick: I learnt them, yes.
Barbara: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."
Patrick: Umm... "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day," Barbara?
Barbara: (taking Patrick's hand) Should we just leave?
(Laughter)
Star: You know, I could listen to you...
Meredith: For hours.
Star: ... all day long.
Barbara: What about me? I was no good?
Star: That voice, it just does it.
Patrick: (to Barbara) We're going to get those waxworks together, somehow!
Star: Now, I'm going to ruin your entire image, of this elegant gentleman, and tell you -- I read that you, actually, are a big fan of "Beavis and Butt-head."
Patrick: Oh.
(Laughter)
Elisabeth: Are you really?
Patrick: Ah, I am, yes. Yes.
Star: That is hilarious.
Patrick: Yes. It's... It's borderline addiction, in fact. I have ties. I have all the videos.
(Giggling)
Patrick: I have a wonderful collection of T-shirts. I think, when the history of 20th century American television is written -- along with Barbara here, and, of course, all of you -- um, I think that "Beavis and Butt-head" will be singled out as a very, very important cultural phenomenon. I can see, by your faces, you think I'm crazy!
Joy: If you think so, I'm going to check it out.
Star: That is hilarious! You know what it is? You are as nutty about that as some people are about "Star Trek."
Patrick: Yes.
Star: The "Trekkies."
Patrick: Yes.
Star: Isn't that interesting!
Patrick: I do watch the tapes over and over and over again. I think they're very funny.
Joy: They're not "Trekkies." What are they called? The "Trekkers?"
Elisabeth: Trekkies.
Patrick: Uh, I've never really been sure.
Barbara: Trekkies.
Elisabeth: Hi, Trekkies!
Patrick: I think they prefer "Trekkers," but...
Barbara: Trekkies.
Meredith: Trekkers.
Star: And, so, I don't... Would he be a "Butt-head" then? I don't know!
(Laughter)
Star: I don't even want to go there. I have no idea. That was wrong! But, I'll tell you what's very right...
Patrick: It went right over my head, that remark. Star, I didn't hear it.
Star: You get it now.
Patrick: Ohh, yes!
Star: Our thanks to Patrick Stewart. "The Lion in Winter" premieres this Sunday, on Showtime. It's great performances. Check your local listings for times.
(Cheers and applause. End of Patrick Stewart's segment.)